I chomped down on a gobstopper about a month back and, without realising it, broke part of one of my back teeth off.

Weeks pass. This Monday, I'm sat watching an episode of Monk (bloody brilliant, by the way) and manage to prang the aforementioned tooth with a Dorito. Cue two hours of unbridled agony, whimpering, screaming and throwing stuff around the front room while I wait on an emergency dentist's appointment.

When I finally get my appointment they tell me the tooth needs pulling. The procedure took nearly an hour! They had to jab me with anasthetic THREE times before my mouth went numb. They had to crack my tooth into bits with a drill and spent an awful lot of time wiggling the contents of my mouth about. "Don't worry," says my dentist, "once the anaesthetic wears off you'll feel a little pain but much less than you felt before."

When my anaesthetic wears off a mere hour and a half later I'm in approximately twice the amount of agony I was in before and I'm drooling blood. Fantastic! I got about two hours of sleep! My face still hurts two days later: like someone threw a brick at me.

I've had an eyebrow split open by a blow to the head with a hockey stick. I've been hit by a car while riding my bike. I've fallen face first into a freshly gritted road. Nothing, however, has quite managed to be as awesomely painful as having a tooth pulled out. Yowch.

Take a small glass tube, shove it up your urethra, and then crush the tube inside your penis.

Take your balls, lay them on a tree stump, and then smash them with a hammer.

Anyone else?

When you've had one, you cannot help but recognize them as sentient, malicious entities.

Also, Lore: do not knock it until you have tried it.

PMT doesn't exist. That's just the way women are.

I've heard that kidney stones are a lot like child birth. Which is definitely at the top of my painful memories...

Once, a yard dart got stuck, yes, STUCK, in my forehead. I still have the scar. That is number two for me.

But teeth getting pulled- I've never experienced it. The way you described it makes me never want to. I've never even had a cavity. But you're making my teeth ache simply thinking about it. I hope you never experience that again... And I hope I never experience it even once. Fucking ouch...

Eh, either way- Childbirth and kidney stones, they both must hurt like hell.

I can't compare the pain if I've never experienced them both.

All I know is that I never want to.

At least you get something after child birth (ie. a child). After an hour of drilling, pulling and loud cracking noises, all I got was the bill for the work and a cotton swab. A complimentary copy of Resident Evil: Deadly Silence would have certainly eased my pain. Or a free haircut. Maybe.

Anyway, several days on and the pain has subsided to a dull ache. I don't have to drink tea with a straw any more! Happy days.

A couple more days and it won't hurt at all. (cross my fingers). Only problem is, I have to book an appointment to have the tooth behind the pulled one looked at soon: apparently I might need it filled. Let's hope that's at least half as painful as having it yanked out of my head.

Demerol?

I was given heroin morphine!

Yeah. I wanted more as soon as I came down, but I realized that I really, really craved it. And then I was all "...oh, my."

Leave it to Khross for valuable insight on exploiting a situation to obtain controlled substances !

edit: tanceo? WTF^^