Alex
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A metal man with a limp shot him in the face.
Now THAT'S a deep-seated hatred. :)
Hey, four pages. Actually, it's a shame that something that started out as a perfectly respectable thread about liking ham has degenerated into this. And speaking of ham, has anyone tried that Quorn ham stuff? It looks like ham, it tastes like ham, but it's made of MUSHROOMS! There's something not quite right with that...
Posted on 2004-04-13 03:56:25 (last edited on 2004-04-13 04:05:14)
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Interference22
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Heart attack in a gymnasium actually. Bit of an irony really: you turn up to get fit and end up getting dead.
Posted on 2004-04-13 03:58:31
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el_desconocido
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Heart attack in a gymnasium actually
I knew it! He died because of ham!
Btw, I kept forgetting to say so, but after Lore was singing praises, for hams with honey glazes, I changed my vote.
Got ham?
Ham is good food.
Mmmm... ham.
I ham what I ham.
Can you ham me now? Good.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a ham?
A ham, by any other name, would smell as sweet.
Me lavo mis manos con agua caliente, y bastante de jamón.
ˇTengo hambre!
Posted on 2004-04-13 04:57:41
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ThinIce
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Whats sad about this... is that this thread... is the 3rd largest thread in ALL of the verge forums... (cept I didn't weed through the archives...)
Posted on 2004-04-13 08:09:21
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Troupe
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We have achieved greatness through Ham!
And Douglas Adams.
Tradgedy about how he died too... Such a loss....
Posted on 2004-04-13 14:52:11
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anonymous
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Indeed. Preach it!
Posted on 2004-04-13 16:20:57
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Alex
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It IS a tragedy, as I don't wish death on anyone, but at least he won't be writing any more books that are too deep and meaningful for mere mortals like me to understand. :)
And: honey glazed ham = good.
Posted on 2004-04-13 17:54:38
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Interference22
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Douglas Adams and Ham: a match made in..er.. Swindon? No? Ok then. He would probably approve, though.
Personally, I think ham is greatly overrated. It hasn't finished a book, thats for sure. It never answers my phonecalls either. Bastard.
Turkey, now there's a meat. Do you ever see any places named after ham, eh?
Hamburg. Darn. Nevermind.
On the subject of death, I wish it on a few people, actually. Most of them schedule daytime TV.
Posted on 2004-04-13 19:03:20
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ThinIce
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I concur with your death wishes. However...
Ham PWNS your turkey for one, and only one simple reason, because Turkeys are stupid animals... yes even dumber than the pig. When you examine the pig, it is the most grotesque animal- but when slain to provide meat, this tender, juicy accomodation is enjoyable by all, except my nemesis'.
Ham is a holy word as well, as it was the name of one of Noah's son's. Who after the flood- began the "Hamish" tribe.
(who if I can remember, populated most of africa)
I shit you not. look it up.
Posted on 2004-04-13 20:50:16
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Alex
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Ham may not have finished a book, but then I've never read anything worthwhile written by turkey either.
Ge:5:32: And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
Having kids at 500? Damn, that puts Michael Douglas into perspective. And presumably his wife was also 500 years old, which really doesn't bear thinking about.
Posted on 2004-04-13 21:45:12
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Interference22
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Bugger. Double posted. Read the one below. Just.. pretend this one never happened..
Posted on 2004-04-13 23:17:11 (last edited on 2004-04-13 23:28:42)
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Interference22
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The author of the Bible wrote a load of old cobblers, didn't he / she / it? You thought Douglas Adams rambled on a bit? Dead rock and roll stars that still attend gigs are one thing, but 500 year old parents?
Am I the only one who is reminded of Des O'Conner by that last bit? .... Ok, nevermind.
And of course you've never heard of anything Turkey wrote, it writes under a pseudonym: JK Rowling. I've heard its style is a bit bland, a bit like its taste. Mmmm.
Posted on 2004-04-13 23:19:48
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Alex
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Yeah, that JK Rowling we had for Christmas dinner last year was a tad bland. Dry too.
I was actually going to mention Des O'Connor, but thought he might be a bit obscure to people who don't watch daytime TV. But yes, seventy years old and still knocking them out so to speak.
And you can't blame the author of the Bible for such a small mistake. Sometimes writers come accross gaps in the plot that need to be bridged, and making one of the characters 500 years old is a perfectly sensible course of action. At least he didn't change Noah into a bowl of petunias or a sofa or something. My God, imagine if Douglas Adams had written the Bible... no, actually, don't bother.
Posted on 2004-04-14 00:34:53
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Interference22
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My God, imagine if Douglas Adams had written the Bible... no, actually, don't bother.
Too late.
If he had, that would certainly make it more believable. You think Petunias are bad, try feeding five hundred with a couple of loaves and some fishes and the bizarre feat of knocking down the walls of Jericho by yelling loudly at them. Everyone knows the only force know to man that could have achieved this feat is Iron Maiden. They're old, but they're not THAT old.
Posted on 2004-04-14 00:51:04
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Interference22
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"And on the third day, God created the town of High Wycombe. Which He broke. And God said unto His people, 'Bugger. Sorry about that, I'll get you another one.' God was a very busy deity, however. He forgot and instead went off to finish Italy."
Posted on 2004-04-14 00:55:32
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Alex
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Iron Maiden rock, Adrian Smith miles better than that Slash bloke, and Steve Harris has written at least 10 excellent songs since 1979.
Posted on 2004-04-14 01:05:07
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ThinIce
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Bugger. Double posted. Read the one below. Just.. pretend this one never happened..
But it DID Happen!
Posted on 2004-04-14 08:36:27
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mcgrue
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...Magnolia?
Posted on 2004-04-14 08:48:39
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Troupe
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Like I said in my original response to this message, I prefer turkey. But Ham is also perfectly fine.
And pro-slavery people used the fact that Ham was apparently cursed, and since his decendents populated Africa, all black people were cursed, to further their cause. Just thought you should know.
THE BIBLE
by Douglas Adams
Posted on 2004-04-14 14:56:44
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Alex
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Interference: Turkey, now there's a meat. Do you ever see any places named after ham, eh?
There's nowhere named after turkeys either. The country Turkey wasn't named after turkeys, that would just be plain silly. It was vice versa. Guinea fowl were imported through Turkey, and so they came to be called 'turkeys'. The name was then applied by mistake to the bird that we all enjoy (but not as much as ham) at Christmas, which originated in America, not Turkey. So not only is there nowhere named after turkey, but even turkey shouldn't have been named turkey.
Ham, on the other hand, is a different story. Anyone sufficiently familiar with the mediocre English Division One football club called West Ham will know that it was in fact named after actual HAM, due to where it is located. That particular area in west London being where ham used to be cured and sold. I found this out from a book a while ago, and checked on their website today to make sure I hadn't imagined it.
SO... Ham 1 - 0 Turkey
Posted on 2004-04-14 19:34:13
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